A question that I’m sure plenty of you ask yourselves daily. As of late, that has certainly been the question that has taken over my life at little. Admittaly, I wish it hadn’t but I guess we are all responsible when it comes to being caught up in our own miseries, downfalls or failures if you like. Failure is an odd word, I wouldn’t describe any of what I do or have done a failure, but that awful gut wrenching feeling of being a ‘fail’, seems to come with ease far too often. Again, I know I am amongst many, especially those of you who are freelance and trying to find your feet, or perhaps working for a company you have no desire to work for, no passion for, no motivation.. I’m on to something right?

The other thing that has a huge impact towards the ‘where am I at’ phase is comparison. Again, something I am definitely very guilty of doing. The endless Instagram scrolling becomes less about a pretty picture and more about ‘oh so and so is doing this’, ‘so and so is doing that’.. we let it lead to something it’s not, and too easily I feel. I mean a lot of this is blindingly obvious right and actually not where my initial point for writing this blog post was heading, but you know I like a good ramble, so we’ve ended up here. I’ve come to realise, slowly, over the last few weeks, that what I want matters. Just like what you want matters. Yes that may sound obvious, but if we don’t have a say in our own lives, then who does! It’s good to be realistic, but dreams are just as important. We work our asses of to get to that place we’ve always dreamed of right. Whether that’s living somewhere that’s warm all year round, growing your own veggies and raising kids that know nature not social media.. or perhaps you want a big shiny car and a 10 bed house, each to their own.

I suppose this leads me on to the real reason I am writing this post. Dreams. For those of you that have followed me for a while, will know that along side the blog, I also run a business; Dust Foods.. or Dust Granola to many. It’s been a whirl wind of a two years, ups and downs, lots of struggles BUT lots of amazing opportunities. Heck my product is currently still stocked in Waitrose, the new sexy packaging has finally made it’s way back to Plant Organic and I simply started that in my own kitchen (Aussie kitchen I will add). However, the last few weeks seem to have taken a toll on my overall life and evaluating, where I am at. Without boring you of the ins and outs, plus quite frankly, the behind the scenes isn’t entirely your business, but coming to terms with certain aspects of the business, or my original dream has changed dramatically. That’s not to say I’m not pouring every inch of myself into working for myself, but, as everything does, things are changing. As much as I like to say it isn’t all about money, it definitely plays an important role, especially in todays society. I have had to make a lot of decisions about what’s next (for myself and Dust) and figure out what is best. What’s great about the current world we live in is that there is so much scope to create company or business you are passionate about being totally freelance and only have to answer to yourself. With that said, don’t expect it to be easy. If someone had told me two years ago, your about to work even harder than you’ve ever done and probably cry more times than you realised was possible, then well, heck no I probably would have still done it. I say that not to scare you, but to be honest. I think that a lot of people thing running your own business or working for yourself bags you loads of money and makes you the happiest person you could be. Sure it can, but having a clear concise vision or plan, is extremely important, in some ways, that’s where my downfall was. Yes I had a plan, yes I had a vision, but the vision wasn’t always mine. I let opinions of others affect my personal decisions and I let my passion take a back seat, rather than be realistic.

I know I’m totally rambling and actually haven’t got to the main point. So, where am I at? Well, I’m currently doing everything in my power to make Dust work, with a little bit of change. I’ve started markets, I’m trying to up my game with catering and putting on events. It’s not been easy in any way and most days (as of late), I have had to really kick myself to keep inspired. The thing that keeps me going is well one of them, is you guys. I don’t get an awful lot of messages, but when I do, it makes me realise that what I am doing is something so many would dream of. I am beyond passionate about living the lifestyle I portray. I have so many dreams, so many visions, but my problem is sticking to one and making it work. Perhaps that’s why I’ve had to re-think about Dust. Going back to the why, the what and then beyond. I’ve got a few projects on the horizon that are more blog/writing based + if all goes to plan, my yoga teacher training early next year. Along side the business side of things, I’ve also had a lot going on hormonal wise. By hormonal wise, I mean a complete imbalance, more than likely brought on by stress, but holy heck has it been hard. No one tells you this shit, your body can’t even always tell you. It’s extremely interesting getting to really know your body and what works for you. I will admit that I’ve been some what infuriated by the fact that there are not a lot of females who have stayed vegan with a similar problem. That by NO means, means that you cannot be vegan, because to be quite frank, that is a load of b*llshit.. as in, not staying vegan and getting a quick fix rather than delving a little bit deeper. I will write a complete post on this for those that are interested, but for now, I’m still figuring it out, balancing it out, y’know!

Really, this has no infinitive conclusion.. I like to keep you on your toes/I don’t think many things have a conclusion, mostly because it always feels like the beginning right? I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you have a passion for something, use it, if you have a dream, chase it, be realistic, try not to compare, scroll a little but not a lot. Most importantly, believe in and stay true to yourself, share your experience, talk to loved ones and just know that, where you are at, is completely ok.
Image via Free People Blog